When All Is Lost
by risen truth ruthless lies
Summary: He has lost many things, his mother, his father, his brother can't even talk he is so afraid of him. Correctly called The Demon, what is worth fighting for and if there is anything at all why fght for it? When everyone is waiting for him to fall, why does he keep fighting? Dark.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own

* * *

_Chapter One_

_Insanity_

He turned endlessly each closing of his eyes brought on a fresh wave of images, so much of it all. He could feel the blade heavy in his hands as he cut down his opponents, their warm blood occasionally spraying him in his face covering his hands in the slick substance.

He felt almost as if he were on high, watching his enemies flounder or falter as they either fled from him or tried to strike him down. The way his blood would run with adrenaline forcing him to move faster strike harder, become more brutal showing less mercy.

The sick pleasure coiled like claws in his chest, he never wanted it to stop. But when it did, he was reminded of the tragedy his father as he fell protecting his mother who was killed as soon as he had entered the home.

The instinct that something was happening helped him save his little brother, who was currently in a self-induced coma. He could see all the faults that could occur once he woke, for he had not been merciful to the man who dared cut down his parents in front of his dear brother.

But he would shake such thoughts off as he entered the clan's compound, focusing merely on getting home. The home no one but Shisui bothered to visit, that is if he stayed long enough to call it a visit.

Shisui knew what was wrong with him, he thought with a crooked grin. He knew his fragile state of mind was slowly breaking, almost as crooked as his once gentle smile had become. He was fractured, and the way he was looked upon fueled his resolve to keep fighting. To keep his head above the black oblivion that threatened to claim him each night.

Yet no one seemed to know, even if they had would it had changed anything at all? He frowned the sheets clinging to him like a second skin as he recalled the way the village and his clan now looked upon him. No longer were there any warm smiles or pride filled glances, not that he needed any pride or arrogance which his very family and clan had once emitted.

The villagers would turn away from him however, leading the children into a different road, one where they would not cross his path. Even as he walked the very streets he would hear them whispered of him, how inhumane he had become. How a demon had taken the place of the Uchiha prodigy, the gentle warrior.

When they turned his way, realizing he had heard every word he would try to smile as he once had. Only for it to become that crooked grin once more, before he turned away from them. Trying not to reveal how hurt he had become, even if he had no idea of just who was speaking of him.

It hurt him, because what would those close to him think of him now? What would his little brother think of him now? The broken Shinobi, his broken older brother who now led the clan with a fractured mind?

The tears were leaving ridges in his face as they had done so, so often before. Deeper and deeper the ridges became, he raised his hand over his face staring at the spider like appendage.

No muscle was easily seen, but to a trained eye was easy to see how lean the muscle there had become. He was not even done growing, yet his hands had been drenched in blood more than anyone, including himself, dared to count.

His Sharingan activated out of reflex as the shadows there in his room, became something more sinister. His father's final shout reached his ears from the back of his mind, his mother's scream as she fell into her own blood.

He shot up instantly as his brother's agonized cries reached his ears, his hands clutched over his face as he reminded himself over and over again that it was over. But it still haunted him, and he knew it wouldn't stop.

His humanity was slipping away, and before long he would be killed for the safety of the village. He needed to keep his hold on his sanity, but he wondered dimly what sanity was left to contain?

His lips twitched and that crooked smile took its place on his face, as if it belonged there ever since the beginning. This was who he had become, the demon. This was Uchiha Itachi, and this is what he had become. The broken shinobi, the demon, the broken brother, the insane one. All of those titles were his to take and more, why? Because he thought as his laughter echoed in the room tears carving their ridges in his face.

He deserved them.

* * *

Author's note: I _know I_ shouldn't be doing another story but this wouldn't leave me alone! All will be explained for Itachi's sanity or lack there of later in the story.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own

Chapter Two

Masks

* * *

Itachi sighed turning over the porcelain mask in his hands, the wide grin and dark holes for eyes mocking him. He scowled placing the mask onto his dresser, what was he going to do now?

The Hokage had him removed from AnBu temporarily until he was calmed down, Itachi snorted. Until he was sane is what he meant, that much Itachi was sure of. Of course how could he be so sure, when he wasn't sure of whom he was?

Sane? He wasn't too sure he would be sane again, not after what had happened. What father does that to his own son? What mother just watches it happen, without speaking up? Itachi's fist curled, his nails biting crescents into his palm drawing blood.

_Red_, _Red_ **_blood_**.

_'Calm down'_ he thought hissing as he forced himself to take a deep breath, his fingers slowly uncurled from his hand he winced. Bringing it up to his eyes, he saw that they were deeper than before. When he was ridged from training or frustrated he had done so and left light scratches without intending to. This however was far worse, was he really so affected?

_'Why did it hurt so much? Why is it even bothering me, they got what they deserved didn't they?_' He choked down a sob, his jaw tightly locking into place. It _hurt_, it hurt so much.

"Tachi? Tachi are you okay?" a voice whispered softly, the door to his room creaked open, making Itachi freeze.

"_This clan...is nothing but a pack of **wolves."**_ Itachi hissed towards the intruder, who froze at his doorway. The figure moved into his room causing Itachi to scowl, though the sobs wouldn't leave him.

"Tachi, I'm sorry it had to be done…" Itachi's head snapped up the cursed Mangekyo activating and reacting to his anger.

"Necessary? You call beating down a child, _necessary?"_ He spat, curly black hair moved as Shisui shook his head.

"We only wanted to help." Shisui whispered, Itachi froze his fingers curling into his hand once again. Blood seeped from his fingers dripping onto the floor; Itachi knew it would stain the wood.

_"Help? Did you think that for one second, that **killing** me would solve your problems?"_ Itachi choked out betrayed and battered from his closest friend's betrayal.

"I was out voted Itachi, I had no choice." Shisui stated, authority lacing his tone, Itachi almost flinched. But his loathing rebounded and he once again looked Shisui in the eye, the threat of the Mangekyo hanging in the air.

_"Is this clan so important that you would kill me? Is it Shisui? Is this what you want, for the nations and lands to fall back into war? This is ludicrous, we'll be turned into nothing but **dogs** fighting for the peace **we already have."**_ Itachi hissed trying, pleading for Shisui to understand. Shisui's eyes narrowed, before he picked up Itachi's mask. The weasel mask grinned at them both, like the mask held secrets all on its own. When it really did, to Shisui who had figured out exactly what his cousin was told to do.

"So killing us all would have solved things?" Shisui whispered, a sad frown marring his face. Itachi froze, the mission paper falling right into Shisui's open palm.

"Where did you get that?" Itachi asked, voice hollow and monotone void of emotion.

"I found it, clutched in your hands. You were crying in your sleep, and I heard you when I was walking by. Would you really do this, to protect this village? What have they done for us? What will they do for us in the future Itachi? Why do you have such blind faith in an old man?" Shisui stated his own Sharingan activating the blood red of his Sharingan revealing his own pain.

"It was to prevent _war_, do you think I would have wanted to? It was the last thing I would have wanted Shisui, it was the last thing the Hokage wanted! Why do you think I spoke up during the clan's meeting with the elders and Hokage? _It was to prevent any of this from happening!"_ Itachi's breathing was shallow, frantic as he tried to defend himself, his village and his own self-loyalty.

"Well, it happened." Shisui muttered collapsing against the wall, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. Itachi froze, the look in his eyes was almost like that night. It felt as if his chest was constricting, he suddenly couldn't get enough air. His hand reached for his throat, his body trembling with fear.

~Flashback~

"I'll go get Sasuke today, you just relax okay Itachi?" Itachi nodded his mother smiling as she left the Uchiha's private training grounds. He took a deep breath, hoping to clear his thoughts.

He pooled water into his hands from the nearby pond, splashing his face with the cool water. He sighed, the cold water trailing down his neck, perhaps he should take a break. Just for tonight, he was on a time limit anyway. So Itachi thought he should try to spend as much time as he had left in a sort of relaxed state.

He had already begun to close the distance between him and his family; it wouldn't be long before he had to pick up the blade. Time was all too short.

"Itachi, will you come here for a moment?" Itachi looked up; his father was beckoning him to the secret part of the Uchiha training ground. Perhaps he should just tell him he was going home? Deciding against it and his better judgment, he got up he owed his father this much at the very least.

"Yes father?" Itachi answered, Fugaku gave him a long hard look.

"Gomenasai, Itachi. But it was decided and it cannot be changed." Itachi's eyes widened as he heard the tell-tale signs of a whistling mass of shurikan and kunai. Fugaku vanished from sight as Itachi narrowly dodged the sharp metal objects.

"What is this?" Itachi questioned as the warriors of his clan, his family surrounded him. He could pick out a few he knew, Shisui, his father, his uncle and his aunt. He could see even more of the clan that he had never seen or known in the trees.

"Burned away." Shisui whispered, Itachi froze, the amount of loathing in his cousin's eyes, gave them all the advantage. Jumping down onto him, Itachi was quickly buried in a mass of Shinobi and Kunoichi. His Katana was out instantly as he realized the meaning of the phrase 'Burned away' it was used for suspicious or traitors to the Uchiha Clan.

'They could have stopped this, if they didn't have so much pride this all could have been prevented.' Itachi thought sadly as he quickly knocked unconscious a majority of his attackers. Itachi's form suddenly went ridged as pain spread from his chest to his throat and body.

A jagged kunai had become embedded mere inches from his heart, a pale hand was wrapped around it connected to an arm.

"S-Shisui?" he choked into a cough, blood sprayed from his mouth staining his lips a dark rust red. He was going to die, because of his closest and only friend. The thought caused something to become haywire, as he felt his Sharingan morph into something stronger.

~Flashback End~

_"Gomenasai...Gomenasai **Gomenasai!"**_ Itachi choked throuh his sobs, blood coating his throat, painting his lips dark ruby red. _'Just like before, am I condemned to death?'_ Itachi thought as Shisui's hands tightly held him up, forcing him to breath even if Itachi felt no need to survive.

* * *

Author's Note: The Mangekyo's appearence explained! The reason why Itachi is losing his sanity? half-explained, I hope you enjoy and as stated before this is a **_dark fic._**so don't expect a rainbow anytime soon. Rain however, you can expect that. A lot of that.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't own

_Chapter Three_

_Where is his savoir?_

* * *

_Itachi burned in his dreams, the cries of birds mixing with screeches of people he swore to protect. The fire burned and burned ceasing to stop, Itachi yearned for the rain._

_Rain to fall, extinguish the fire and wash away the bloody tears. But now the world was burning, he continued to walk, his back turned away. He couldn't stop, his heart yearning for rain, rain that would never come. He breathed and choked, on what he did not know. He knew this was a dream, yet the world, Itachi himself, continued to burn._

_Mad laughter grating at his ears, shadows dancing before him as bloody Mangekyo taunted him with gory eyes. Clawed fears dragging him down, deeper into the abyss. Itachi ran, ran as his clothes began to grow. Slowing him down, his mask shattered, cracked porcelain falling into the dark the white gleaming in the darkness._

_"Itachi!" he couldn't stop, he wouldn't stop running. He tasted blood, and fell tripping over nothing but himself. His hands scraped and his body twisted at such an unnatural angle, he watched as the ground became dark murky water. His reflection staring back at him, a stoic older mask._

**_A black coat with bloody red clouds._**

_The older smiled the grimness stretching wider and wider before his jaw fell in a manic laughter. **"You, you are my new light!" "We are of a defiled bloodline that has flaunted its strength in such a manner throughout the ages!" "You too were entwined in its blood soaked destiny!" "This is my reality, give me your light!"** and all went dark_.

XXX

Itachi snapped himself awake his eyes wide and the Sharingan activated. What sort of nightmare was that? Why now and why show him running, growing into a child?

"Here, take this." Itachi saw Shisui and instantly shied away, the earlier anger and frustration coiling around him, fear grasping his heart forcing it to quicken. Like a trapped animal, was he truly trapped? He forced himself to open his eyes, slowly forcing away the burning chakra that had flooded his veins.

"Its medicine, to help fight off your attacks." Shisui elaborated slowly, gently handing him a bottle. Dark cream colored gel pills were seen through the clear plastic, Itachi grimaced.

"I know, you hate pills. But it's to help you." Shisui laughed, an uneasy grin on his face. It reminded Itachi of that man, the older Itachi in his nightmare. That was a new one, the deep ridges in his face were almost as deep as his own now. His eyes were ancient pools of onyx, seemingly endless in depth and hidden agony.

A necklace was looped around his neck, three silver circlets tied into the strong black string. A slash was deeply engraved into his leaf insignia on the Konoha headband.

It was so crooked, easily not made by his older self. But it served its purpose as well, the older Uchiha Itachi, was obviously a missing shinobi. It was there, the same wary look etched into his eyes. The tightness in his jaw, even the way he moved. It spoke of betrayal at its finest form, a buried truth amongst a thousand (_if not more so_) lies.

_Would he become that person?_

"Arigato, Shisui-san." Itachi managed to say, despite the alarm bells clanging loudly in the back of his head. A warning as clear as day, not the medicine, but Shisui himself. His eyes were too honest, too desperate for Itachi to buy that he was sick.

_**Was** he sick?_

He felt fine, honestly his head felt as clear as it had been in months despite the occurring nightmares and 'attacks' as Shisui called them. It didn't make sense, nothing did. But whatever was clicking into place in his mind was broken apart by Shisui's hand clasping over his shoulder a warm (_But not friendly_) smile on his face.

"You're welcome; we had better clock you out now. Come on let's go soldier boy." _'Come marching home._' Whispered in his thoughts like a thin feeble mist, wringing his thoughts into a death like vice. That phrase was important, Itachi's head throbbed and he winced cursing as Shisui glanced at him in concern.

"Let's go then." Itachi told his cousin, shaking off his pain and molding his features in a schooled expression. Smoothed and polished into the blackest stone, jagged and piercing, slippery and subtle. That was what he was trained and forced to become.

_But he didn't mind that much, not any more._

He gave a wicked grin, wild and psychotic he didn't know why. But he did, and he felt a dark **_satisfaction_** as nurses scrambled away from him and Shisui, who had looked upon him with surprise. How easy would it be to snap everyone's necks with a sharp crack end their suffering, end their pride? End it all; take it back to the other world where he would ultimately be condemned to forever suffer. Where everyone else would survive an eternity in complete and utter content.

**_'Fool! Fight back for once!_**' a dark cold voice smoother, **_colder_** than his own AnBu cover snapped, a sharp white hot anger coiling tightly in his chest making his thoughts snap like tightly stretched wire. Itachi's grin faltered and dropped like deadweight, his eyes narrow to hide away from the scared expressions from the _humans_ around him.

Shisui's hand was like a tight vice grip around his wrist, a stern angered expression etched into his face. Fury dancing like flames behind his eyes, a touch of scarlet beginning to bleed into the normal pitch black irises.

Itachi was only human, he had his faults. But, never should he have thought of such betrayal to his people. To those he was supposed to protect, where had his legendary self-control gone? Where had his **_humanity_** gone?

_He was a Shinobi for the will of fire's sake!_

**_'That is exactly why, you are far too gentle too caring and loyal for the life of a Shinobi.'_** Itachi's eyes snapped open meeting instantly with Shisui's Sharingan.

* * *

Author's Note: Short I know! I'll make it longer next time!


End file.
